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  • Cinderella in Mdantsana 4

    Cinderella in Mdantsane 4

    My mom was a crier in our family, I think I got the crying vice from her. Wow, she was a beautiful lady, nothing like her younger sister, auntie Mavis. She would cry real tears sometimes, even when she see me running to her when I arrived back from school to show her my class marks report. I would get out of the car fast and rush inside to her, leaving my dad there locking the car. She would hug me with excitement and lift me up, as I show her my school report. (She loved school and she loved doing homework with me). Then she would put my head on her shoulder and cry, just out of the blue saying sometimes like;
    "You are my genius, you are my genius. I would never let anyone ever hurt you again."
    The first time I heard that I was confused. I remember saying to her;
    "I'm ok mama, nothing had happened to me, I just passed all my subjects. I'm A+ average remember? You don't have to cry."
    Well that's the story for another time, may her beautiful soul rest in peace.
    -
    That day at the hospital everyone was disturbed and shocked by my crying. It was like I wasn't supposed to cry ever (I wasn't supposed to be told my story like that). The worst was over. I was a miracle baby because I've survived the impossible. No doctor had thought I would make it except my good doctor, the doctor who stayed with me even after hours. The doctors had to remove the blood clot from my brains after the accident. My chest had scars when we left the private hospital. The safety belt had damaged my insides, it compressed my chest. Yes it saved me but it damaged me inside I had problems breathing. My doctors had to open me up and jump start my young heart with a hand when all else failed. Doctor Nceba Maliza, my good doctor, told me that when we were having lunch years after the incident.
    -
    "Get these kids out of here."
    Said my good doctor rushing to my bed. With him I felt safe all the times. He hugged me in my bed and asked at the nurses;
    "Why is this kid still in hospital clothes?"
    "We were waiting for your instructions doctor. We thought her aunt wasn't coming."
    "Geez sister shut up. Give us space please, y'all give us some breathing space."

    The auntie that I didn't know and didn't like didn't move to anywhere.
    -
    "Get her ready doctor, I'm taking her home now. Get her to stop crying please. I hate the cry of a little girl. I have two, I know."
    -
    *She was taking me home, oh no please doctor don't let her do that to me. I want my mama to take me home*. 
    -
    Those were just my thoughts I couldn't say them out loud, because the would make me cry some more. I wanted to cry so that she could be asked to leave too but my good doctor had a way of making me calm. The woman was making me think too much and that was making cry.
    -
    "I want my mama."
    "Nurse, nurse..."
    "Yes doctor."
    "Please take Ms Makeleni away from here too."
    "Dr Maliza I'm going nowhere without Cinderella..."
    "She needs her doctor's care now. She needs an injection. Take her sister."
    "She a minor under my care, you can do everything in front of me I'm not leaving." 
    "Ok Ms Makeleni you win leave us sister. Ms Makeleni can you at least give us space and join the others. You won't leave the room. You'll see everything."

    At last she moved a distance away. Something happened to me after that. I felt her weight over us leaving with her. I stopped crying. I set up straight. Dr Maliza saw that and smiled like that was a big achievement and I knew there was no injection coming from that smile. The stepping away of my aunty wasn't an achievement to me. Ok it was but a little. I still wanted my mom. Why can't I remember her or her name? I remembered the name of the doctor, he is Dr Nceba Maliza, my aunt is Ms Makeleni, Mavis Makeleni. What is my mom's name and my dad's name?

    "Do you know my mom Dr Maliza?"
    "Yes sweetie I do. I know your dad too."

    He didn't say I knew. He didn't put everything in the past then, like saying they were dead. The stupid girl was the only one who had to tell me that in my face. Well it was coming anyway, they had to tell me. I saw the look on my good doctor's face, though I wasn't ready for it, he saw that I wasn't. 
    -
    My aunt wanted to go she didn't care if I was told or not - but someone did.
    Leaving everything to her to tell me was not the risk they were willing to take they couldn't trust her with the psychology alone with me. She wasn't normal, she was just loud. Yes she was my guardian and they were telling her everything but trusting her to tell me everything was too much for him. He couldn't do that to me. 

    He took me by the hand and said;

    "Sweetie you are ready to hear everything now. What la sisi over there and those doctors are going to tell you is going to hurt be brave for me please. You've been brave all this time. This would pass too, I know it would. Your heart is going to be hurt too but it would heal like everything in you did, with time."
    "Ngubani la sisi yena doctor?" I ask
    "A child psychologist Cindy. Do you know what a child psychologist is? She's here to help you and she's going to tell you something about your parents."

    That was the first time I spoke Xhosa with him. I would never forget that. Anyway he won't let me forget that. He reminds me everytime and he always tells his friends everytime when they are wondering why I always love to speak in English. He would say;

    "She was ten when she first spoke Xhosa to me. She was asking who was her psychologist, after months of knowing her as my young beautiful patient. She spoke English only, after her coma. She spoke only to me in English. It was only that day that she spoke Xhosa. A beautiful Xhosa."

    He was lying but I never corrected him. I spoke Xhosa with sisi Nomso.
    -
    The way my good doctor told me all that that day made me brave. I really trusted him at that age with all my heart. He's still my rock now fourteen year later.
    -
    He is my husband.
    ___
    © Lungi Shigo Msusa

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