Anxiety

  
  On the ship that conquered the universe, it would have been nice to travel far. To feel and to know with earth-shattering, soul-changing music My darling may be with me, to share my joy and sorrow, And feel how my sorrowing heart should ring for her. 

The silent change of seasons warns me, watches me all the while, to prepare for the real. Through the gloomy veil of restless nights I am often awakened to the wavering, death-rattling minutes. As one whose grievous and now unpardonable sin, that of coward and man in all ages has stuck. 

The world has long since grown accustomed to the vulgar and the bad, and it seems as if something will never change: even those who want to make friends or acquaintance are beaten to the head. His soul, longing to be mischievous, is always in a state of loss, and he is weary of passing away. 

The initiative of the avant-garde's form-creating artists has won prizes of well-meaning euros and forints in a competition, but it is in vain that the prophets and freethinkers who are pushed out of the circle do not enter into compromising bargains and loyalty-hurting contracts. - I see now how the envy of the shameful can make a law in fearful anger, so that only those may share in earthly goods who have been the treacherous debtors of certain circles from time immemorial. 

They cannot see how a grown child, a filthy virgin, struggles in the ditch of a degenerate daily life. A dissonant corpse of lasting value, and we with it have escaped our share. Delusional, brainwashed ideas tear apart and throw an entire intellectual community into the abyss, just because they owe allegiance to new trendsetting fads. I wonder when everyone will be able to be united in harmony by the unanimous harmony of the earth instead of the multiplicities of brainwashed preachings and the no-man's-land of the world!