DEFIANT

I'm an adult now! I haven't listened to anything else for twelve years. I'd like to find my secure place, to claim the roots of Being in a world that's been beaten down to the bone. Often, I do not deny it, I act like the innocent, whining child who has been slapped, I shout back or kick and stomp.

For I could not be balanced in my solitude, till my vicious executioner's hands had not calculated their ball-jointed fist in the pit of my stomach, or my shattered ribs had not wounded my breathless lungs. The light of thy redeeming holy smile, To fill the shining universe.

I know well I should not need to be always in me, without thee I shall never be. A shadow fell stealthily across the damp cobblestones. Someone's been hit again....
In my sleepless nights I whimper to myself in restrained anger; I walk a swaying tightrope on the trapeze of insecurity.

Wrecked, drunken man-wrecks teasingly call out their pleasure-unmercifully unmerciful. With remorse still in my heart, like a hesitating conscience I dare to send you letters, I would save the truer treasures of my tears for you. From thy angelic being I would seek to recall To my homeless solitude the comfort of redeeming home. And if thou wilt but listen to me, with the caracan of thy courage persevere by my side, I feel thou wilt convey through thy unbreakable, sacred umbilical cords into my soul thy necessary wills, flowing in abundance from thy instincts, that the trials of the uncertain Tomorrows may be endured!