A PLACE OF REPENTANCE

 
 
With myself I can only be part, trying to find the particles of the whole, 
scattered around me at fateful moments! Humiliation of souls, 
I began to laugh, and the nursery flowed like a finished memory. 
But it was school that taught me most of all: To survive with fear, to survive 
Constant alertness, against the snarling claws of industrious beasts. 
 
And I can't even say that I'm the only one who's ever been broken. 
Has any but me mourned the state, the cross-suffering, of the Son of Mercy? Doubt- 
I have shivered with crocodile's droppings through those days, if I enter the halls of my dreams. 
...of my dreams: I must have been a child again, who once loved Turkish honey, gu- 
and toffee, and fudge - deep down, it's just bone-crunching humiliation 
 
Outside my spat cheek my shoe-soled front kicks the ancient front of vengeance 
of ancient satisfaction. And more doubtful, more hopeless is the unknown; the sequel! 
My morality is an unsalable relic! I have been lucky, and just in wrong sufferings: 
Lives have been pinched by Nemesis' fate: lost compliments, romantic 
 
sickness, sickness, bone-pain, all the carrion of conscience survives. 
I've said it all: a decision, a decision, a decision, a decision, a decision, a decision, a decision, a decision. 
A kiss-esky decision brought me to the ground, But quite, - in that fateful moment! 
I should have taken revenge! - I was just dipped in an iron fist, 
In the flushing catacombs of the toilet, And a goodly fatherly slap, too! - The 
The result was substantial, a ghost-recognition crawling in rooms. Here I am, and yet 
with myself I can only be part!