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I was defending myself against men, when troubles were all around me, and I could no longer find a refuge - a way out - somewhere, or go anywhere with the stamp of cowardice, when the self-aggrandizing wild-peppered pansy-headed people grinned at me, and the Linguistics Department had already declared Attila the Hun against me. I must still have had the strength of my sober, stretched-out insanity, and my inner, broken suicidal self took account of my exclusion, - then I thought of the deliberate non-understanding I had voluntarily accepted, and I bet on the foolish hope. 

With pathetic confidence I can only survive despicable human atrocities if I still safely preserve my passive separateness as an object of ridicule. And yet I could not find a home of receptive cultural minds around me. - When I was surrounded, like a ravenous wolf-trap in my nerves, like a cacophonous string, when universal terror was in a hubbub, the devil's spasmodic agony came upon me again, each time I was chained in an orc-eyed inspection of the harrowing harrowing. I have cowered like a prisoner without mercy in the consciousness of silence-increasing solitude! 

In vain have you come against me, insulting my private chamber, you human-brained, sneering pipits, who have humiliated me with your maliciousness, if I must struggle once, as if for honour - I would like to choose whom I can trust with loyalty and unconditionally! And I will not remain Hamlet-unfaithful to myself, if others trap me, or trample me under foot as a pitiful, petty nobody. For I am a plank, a sacrificial philanthropist, and through me pass men of historic ages, and more tude minds that produce innovative thoughts!