LABYRINTH

Every day my nerves are sawed in two, crucified by everyday petty, pathetic worries. If I could, I'd cling like a deceitful monkey-cub to my Darling's lap, Who would with kisses lull his selfish torments to Existence. In the highways of nerve paths, connection, injury and joy are embodied in the elemental sense. The faces for the umpteenth time gloat.

Beyond the self-protective shell of my loneliness that still exists, and always on guard, what could have been, now neither speaks to me nor speaks to me. I am disgusted by this deliberately deceived conspiracy of interests: tooth for tooth! Why should anyone live in this world who would sacrifice himself for the sake of irresponsible others?!

Neither volcanic, incandescent explosions of anger, nor vomitous, insidious rage, nor seductive career-building strategies, nor winning advertising campaigns can help. I will break out of my preserved canned circle of my own free will, if I want to - I will melt decisively in the fire of budding kisses in the tender arms of my Beloved promising peace.

There is no eternal agreement that we should be men and not beasts of prey! I do not flee - though it may often seem like a spider-bellied pebble on the surface of a wounded lake - but rather sink of my own accord. I learn the ascending test of the Spirit by a donkey's ladder of failures or falls, for beyond the possibility of falling to earth again I have hardly any courage left!

My oar and my desert shores are scarce yet in this earthly existence to be found; Thou deceptive lashes of deception may snatch me, tempt me - But I know with sure will He shows me the harmonious shores of the One-Father, And spreads His holy angel wings over my stormy head As a sign of His boundless love.