WHAT CAN BE HELD?

Time, you cursed starving, insufferable, céda-deaf, bulky, cudar torrent. Who took away from me the remaining Pandora's hope that on the turning wheel of my things, with sure change, my new self-certainty might be born - where now do you hide who I was?!

How much in me still of accepting, unselfish trust; Of ever-watchful suspicion, boyish timidity, In which conscious doubt grows new roots of fears?! I would ask you and confess you, if I could, at once, with a thundering rib-cage, with a thundering heart. You scarcely worthy of a word! Only from the orphan abyss of my depths I hear a lost voice still insistently crying to me.

My imagined, idyllic desires are demanding, toiling - Dreams, sunk in the depths of Atlantis, can no longer sing, no longer tell. Towards the gaping throat of wave-crying fierce eddies The unanswered whys are inexorably moving! - If only you would speak to me once more, I would answer - But you'll not flow back - Old age approaches with a walking stick. The self-relieving pearls of my memories: at least you are still with me - I look with an ice-cold, often gloomy, foolish soul: how much have I missed?

How many experiences and usable events have passed me by. And I thought my dreams swaying, In the kissing lake of immortal Love's budding, swan-feathered gaze While winking at me like an inviting blessing; Perhaps it could not be true. But it was a moment of hungry delight- I can no longer defy my howling saw-fangs!  I am still a part of the Universe, and yet I am a thespian, a lost little speck of dust!

My soul is petrified like a Golem, terrified: man and man, to-day's interest, as compromises, are sold! What can be the immortal minute that the Dear One should think so?! You could only answer, "Try to live and to exist in such a way that every day may contain your human, expressible essence!