IMPATIENT PATIENCE

What hurts me? A crowd of people in a rabble-rousing, bustling, shouting only their own revelry, reveling or rejoicing in their own merriment! Doubts, like the last hope of my life, hidden in exile among questions waiting to be answered. Like hairs, like plucked and unplucked blades of grass - grinding in degrees, and destroying in the ordeal of unceasing anxieties!

I would, and with a will I might even do it, that I might find a home again in man's shuffled, worn details. I might be one companion on the wavelengths of my supportive, loyal thought, beyond my daily trampling bribes; I might be born a useful part-part, as any other that would seek his lost mate with humble diligence here on earth. Satisfaction and success can only be, if the restless stillness of our hearts inwardly understands and comforts us.

I could not stand, endure a foul and wicked kick in the gut, The blue-green-purple school-stains of dirt-stamps on the broken points of my body, To know, at least when I recognize and know, that I have a responsible duty here on this earth, - To receive as a gallant reward an unjust dismissal, an unworthy insult, - And what all we have not to the middle of my back, Only because in real minutes my lips have had the power to speak!

What else can Existence offer me as a precious gift?! Immortal moments to be spent with the Beloved, who with a confessing love-intention may still be searching for me; my song is still full of glowing sentimentality. My heart waits for him more and more impatiently. With the one I could find I could share my inner, dense world with a calm heart: in the glow of overflowing halos, two eyes would be my purified waterfall! I cannot let the trust of my cheap hope be torn asunder yet!

My impatient patience I would wait for one, To hold the wavering child in me with firm, willing care!