CONTEMPLATING IN THE DARKNESS

Now, like a dumb, reckless murderer, the mad, frightened Solitude came upon my life: and then I began to say to myself, "If thou dread and fear Tomorrow, at least stretch and cherish the world of Today!"- And among so many endless things, the Goal seemed to gleam, beneath the surface of futilities! 

Moody pessimism now more than unbearable - when the bad weather comes! The contagion of your moodiness you know - patiently waits around you for your joy! Soon you may not even have money left for necessities. Your stomach is waging a protesting, corroding war against you, and you know: in you z self-pity grows like a scanty tarack-weed! 

Like the bellowing herd-member, I never deliberately drifted with the crowd. As a sure stubbornness of purpose, I have consciously shut myself off with seven locks, And all my otherworldly dead-white reality has throbbed as one sore wound, While my cowardly heart has beaten. - But here now below, all is a misty silence, and the scarce sight is confined to my nose! 

And I consciously dismounted from the unbridled tram of desire: I have let mad and bribed loves intertwine and turmoil! - I had much rather have forgotten all the past wonders of my past,- The ceaseless darkness still more spells its dreaded labyrinths upon the city, And yet makes a roaring noise, as one who hatefully seeks to destroy! - Tears boil down my sad eyelids at last!