LESSON OF RENUNCIATION

I should take a lesson in resignation. Then I could start again and continue my self-pitying ordeal. I have been the target of so much bullying, so much deliberate smearing, as the hunter of a valuable prey to be hunted! - It should have been realized sooner that the revolving fortune is always on the side of the profiteers and the jumpers, and that the simple, modest helpless are consciously avoided! And the chains of ties - if they are strong and unbreakable - will never break! Yet a precious crumb of beggarly hope In the heart's courtyard shall survive! Even now the stars are turning black and sooty. 

Sunless, murderous, unfriendly, the day grows on. The many meaningless consolations are still more than if the sick were visited by none! How good it would be to find comfort down here in a mother's bosom, To find new opportunities! To be filled with Hope, - fear has grown thorny thickets around me, and I only move out when absolutely necessary! And no one can hurt me! 

What we have spoken to each other's hearts, Breaking down the barriers of our inhibitions, and wringing the tears of our wounds, We have richly and clearly, perhaps, regarded as the words of our hasty youth, And not as broken, true feelings only! - And yet, when I gazed on the earthly, haloed glory of your face with the dumb speed of light, your smile was instantly quenched, and now I am swamped by the end-cream!