PERSISTENT RISK

As the justly blind who sees before him the goal, the opportunity, the human star face That would pledge his life to him, and yet he does not ask, cannot keep, the familiar gestures and the sign language searching in faces: he stops and his conscience is flooded with unexpected despair, murderous terror! So have I been myself! In the scornful scrutiny of exam-eyes, which in the peace of my home hath often smitten me, your envious looks, torn from me

And in the jealous scrutiny of your jealous scrutiny, I might have found the path to the golden gates of my heart - My soul was on the field of idyllic captivity! Alas! - But in the depths of thy heart the treasury was crumbling - I was slowly and imperceptibly reduced to a nobody among a multitude of other-willed, miserly men - it mattered not - but I could not find the glitter wasted for me in the economy of thine eyes! 

And while in thee rose a new Atlantis-continent of immortal sentiment - while in me the biting fury of self-pity took root, steadfast and rock-solid! I would have gone towards thee, but I was wrong, - I awoke alarmed to the reality: where were you with your flirtatious winking, bombarding smile In what city or country? 

Many a time I have let my heart be broken in vain, And mottled with hopeless wishes to bitter, But thou hast not saved it from bleeding lasting wounds. Nor is it to be wondered at that I dread lasting risks!