INCREDIBLE REASONS

If all of a sudden your things turned out that way, that the transport of oxygen in the twilight blood tunnels would stop in your calcium and sick bones, what would you say and what would you say to a life-and-death world and only fighting each other if you had to die suddenly? What would I say? – I would say that many things thought of little and insignificant nothingness 

in my earthly things I made my blunders and mistakes with tons of scarlet shots, but I tried my best to learn from everything from my soul spine! And whatever my creative whipping mood, I remained a messenger and half-hearted pen-turner of this turning point!

I would admit that what life condemned to mortality and slap-existence with Paka thread was meant for me as a direction of decision-compasses and measured it by a single myself incessantly bad, or, if possible with a cold head, considering the saving humility of good and noble things, I have committed only and exclusively one of myself, and I have endured it with will! 

Many innocent and unworthy accusations, which were crucified as spiritual wounds by those who knew everything better, were merely naive slander campaigns of their envious and gullible self-awareness against me!

I would admit, deep down: I hurt and mourned cruelly in the tiny beats of the secret podium timer, but it wasn’t some kind of paradise of grace either: In the swamp world of self-pity, as a pathetic shipwreck, I drew among the trials of the abominable everyday life!

The lack of self-confidence, believing in self-pity, was constantly engulfed in law with a scalpel-sharp critical judgment, and shame and humiliated wound stains were inflicted in the inner sincere conscience of my fragile soul to save himself's pettiness, and because I was unable to defend myself!