I ask myself

"What would you say, besmirched in your half-heartedness - I said to myself - what would you say with your stumbling and stumbling boy and willow poet status if the great One came, to whom you would offer the rest of your remaining life as a sacred oath of your loyalty? If He came and told you that you are cherishing vain and politely naive dreams to appease your desire for reconciliation, because everything is different:

that what you believed about him in your imagination and in your dreams of a romantic paradise, you thought, and maybe you wanted him: It was only a mistake and a beautifying lie, and He, whom you have called so many times your sweet, dear and only aunt, is now here: your delusion, and it was an idea, and now here it is suddenly, from the wedding waves of foam, like a true pearl, an incomparable treasure comes and stands out, because, having met the student who loves him and sings love songs about him most fervently, he pledges to you the keys of his loving heart as a sacrificial gift, so that he can then be consecrated to his ancestral will

obediently fulfill his every little wish and command! Otherwise, you can only sin in the same way, through your well-considered but foolish blunders, because if He Himself appeared in the physical reality of a virgin and said: "I have loved you and I would live with you according to the law of my heart until I die!" "What would you say?"

I would say, fearing not to offend the tiniest vibrations of her Holter-monitored heart, that she is maternal goodness incarnate, and among my supplicants I would mention her a billion times, if not more times, and I would say that I draw my purposeful backbone from her breathing honesty, that with a common will let's get through the slap-backs of a stormy existence!

"You should be here" - I would say, like a healer from Eden and a forgiving holy fairy who forgives even the smallest mistakes of my washing machine body! And if in my reality you are already embodied in your mother's worried lily, or you are a hyacinth: because of you and your character traits ready to stand up for the brave truth of your being, I would like to take off like a worn and worn shirt: my crippling weaknesses, and through you and your noble determined wish, as a pledge, I will become a better person

I want to be, and now I would stick to this dream as long as possible. "Come on!" - You are not a mischievous and gullible holy image, the seductive fairy of the mental tunnels of my skull, I am daydreaming and my naive childish hope, please do not rebel! You are just a wishful thinking! And I am the creative carver!

If all this didn't matter anymore, and if He came down to earth and showed mercy even in your blunders, the heaven-eyed goodness would quietly and forgivingly just smile dearly and sweetly, and the smile of a daisy would shine through all your loneliness and reclusiveness in your prison blood, and in the end, despairing and unbelievably stained

should it be, experience that there is no refutation against it, and no judgment wanting to reject it? I would surrender to Him and place my faithful humanity at His feet as a sacrifice of my gift of grace: if I still had a bold will in me, then I would drop the falling petals of all the atrium roses of my heart at His majestic feet, to chain myself forever as a prisoner to His all-forgiving, breathing gaze!