VARIABLE NOTE
In the depths of my soul, I am trapped in a well. I can feel that different winds are blowing now than in the past. I quickly waver according to my tendencies: when I am gripped by an inferiority complex, or just a persistent pang of panic.
My complex mind and soul are burdened by many painful and useless thoughts, and my time is purposefully rushing and betraying me. In the past, they were thrown into hell for many, many bitterly painful decades. My voice - if there was one - is now deliberately not heard, or has been silenced. Immeasurable and inexplicable is the sure feeling of spleen and stomach, where my wandering existence returns again and again to recharge, to find new tried-and-tested paths.
The future became a painted, leech-faced scumbag, pushed as prey - many times I also thought: I had already fallen out of all the remaining basket of abundance that once belonged to me. Why can't there be a true, loyal friend, family, or an immortal Beloved, who can I count on, and who comforts me with his omniscient gaze, lifts me up in the ruins of days?!
My soul - maybe - has already been lost for good. If I have doubts and many times my trust is already dwindling, I don't knock on fallen stone walls with my bleeding existence. I talk to my surroundings in a thousand calling voices: Alas! What could I do? What could I have messed up?!
My existence is increasingly wounded by eternal restlessness. I can barely bear the tumultuous and chaotic burdens of Life alone - many times I would rather let the light of the bright stars melt in the sky. According to the subhuman credo, I will remain silent for a little while longer; immersed, I look at the aimless roots of my severed future.
Fraudsters make hard-hitting, effective baits with haste: a much more promising job and career promise are now all on the rise.
Time-shifting fraudsters are starting to fold their stolen truths, which are worthwhile ways - more and more people are curious. I feel that my cogwheel life is idling on an increasingly large swing and I'm still not sure when Someone will come to lead me out!