MOVING AWAY TOWARDS EMPTINESS

Many times, in fact, all that is left is this: halfway between two thin rope-loop events, all the plans that have gone up in smoke and the ideas that have come to a standstill get stuck. It is often a brutal and cruel game of chance, classic Russian roulette, while above your head, like a hidden sword of Damocles, sharp, divisive statements strike you: because you can no longer be independent or free!

Your dream, your hope soon sinks first among the cogwheels of your brain, later in the dust of no man's land, humiliated and ashamed. The wax figures and straw dogs of today's wretched people are moving forward with the intention of asserting themselves at any cost to the unrepentant Jelenid. A vile ironic cynicism sprouts from you, just like stubborn childish stubbornness - an inappropriate, uninvited, manipulative look weaves its way through your soul.

- You already feel yourself secretly deep inside: your numb cells are still losing more and more seriously, more wisely, the intense agony, and because this many wretched, pitiful, hellish Fall is coming sooner than you think, you can't hang cheap Camu consolation in any prickly lace bush . The promise of wrinkles crumbles in the cross-sections of your larval face, when you still felt that you could do anything, even bungee jumping over an uninhabited, yawning chasm; self-indulgent, wild nerve-wracking, like a peculiar incessant rush for your survival, sooner or later it gradually fell back into indifferent calm.

Of course - there is no doubt - it would have been much better to have a permanent state of mind that could be smoothed out at any time, which you wanted to protect and protect with ever more urgent tooth and nail from the moment you were born. - You deliberately distorted the found paradise conditions into single-celled ones, since you could never trust enough in the group of frail, calculating, fallible human offspring.