ENDLESS SEARCH

"Just a few more months, then I'll leave the city and everything" - you answer when asked how you've been feeling in the past 5-10 years. It's as if they're staring at you suspiciously from the shelter of yawning window panes, and even now you don't know, why?! The smell of animals, like people, seems to get stronger in the evening, this alone makes me uneasy and in doubt.

Someone from the growing Ervin Szabó library has stolen the Radnóti volume again; and no one asks how the average person stands with contemporary poets? You cannot find a home-shelter in temporary accommodation either. Milk became more expensive, and because I wanted Haribos gummy bears, I somehow had to decide at the same time; the decision of cognitive dissonance sooner or later gets stuck halfway and just cancels each other out. The taxi driver didn't say hello, he just mumbled something again. The adversities of the decades were visible on his half-amber, battered-dog-looking face. "I hope everything will be alright!" - I can't decide for a long time whether to ask now or just answer.

The city is busy with itself again, as it has been for the thousandth time; sane robot work rumbles. Even in the bread van, he puffs more and more coldly, who could be the diesel engine. - The hearing of public monologues is echoed by more than just a word-of-mouth, digital platform. Why do you still believe that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, when small or large obstacles regularly break your determined foot?!

Maybe the old childhood, when everything seemed so simple and clear, has now been put in a paper coffin; it was transparent, and perhaps the rarely expressed, silent, but at least sincere emotions were understandable. Who made a mistake and why couldn't he account for himself or the world?!