Before I quit

Everyone just loves to see me hurt. I'm putting myself to work. Hope to stay busy, but I'm still lonely. Use to beg and plead. But the toxic relationship caused me to bleed. I'm a cheat, she's with someone else already under our old sheets. Now I drink, alone I think. I melted quick lime ice in my whiskey. But all of this till this day still haunts me. They say I'm not ugly. But I look in the mirror and man I'm disgusting. The pain behind my eyes. The arguments I've been having with myself. Dear doubts, whatever you say I'll doubt it. For now I'm a just take a break before I quit.