Heartbroken Autopilot

17,January,2021 by

A normal day waking up
I fetch me a quick dose of a nation's situation
The television on as briefly as possible

Down my hallway, a shower, steeling myself
Applying my image to shield vulnerabilities

Briskly walking back through the hallway

Raising a middle finger to a blank tv screen
So much pain..

Coffee or an energy drink?
Maybe vodka but I need to be able to think

Reaching like a tired Monster for a Redbull
I still can't escape by flying away..

Counter drawers, withdrawing a dose..

An antidepressant placebo
This land's status always makes it both though

Anyways..

Light of the new day looms
I'd love to just witness compassion

Yeah.. Its.. A normal day..

With a heart screaming silently
With a mind trained to suppress

Appearing as my best..

This stress..

When will it end..?

Lately I'm on autopilot

The stress feels like I'm a mess at best

Knowing I'm not alone in this..
It brings a slight comfort and a wave of hurt..

Times are changing and..

Its.. Heartbreaking..