Alone

 I want to be here but just alone. Away from people away from judgement away from any communication. You ask me how I feel and I say fine when really i am breaking inside. I can't smile in the happiest of moments because I know it won't last forever and it will just go away tearing me apart taking it away from the people I love. I don't keep expectations. I only have hope that things will get better but I know they most likely will not. I cry without knowing and I can't look at myself in the mirror for too long because I know my brain will think of monsters I will see starring right back at me.