I remember
your smile
your laugh
your hugs
your voice
I remember
our jokes
our time
our moments
and I miss them so much
I miss you
Thank you
For not filling my soul with your lies
For finding the key and unlocking some of the chains that bind me
For sharing your warmth with me in this cold world
For your joy that shined the path to find my truest smile
For shielding me from the arrows and blades with you kindness
For healing some of my bruises with you laugh
And for showing a bird how to finally fly, even with broken wings.
Another time
I wished for happiness once
I wished for the truth
for love
and for freedom
and I've sang the songs of sadness to the stars
and yelled the words of anger to the sun
and shed my tears with the moon
they kept my secrets, my prayers, my life story
and they kept my wishes
they told me I could have them come true
another time
Jealousy
never felt it so strongly till now
I'm envious of her
I don't understand why I feel this way
I don't understand feelings much
I typically block them out
is this normal?
why does it hurt to know that she fell for you?
I never cared before
so why now?
why does it hurt to know I might lose you?
I never cared before
why am I so jealous of someone I don't know much about.
deceiving sun
It gave false hope and hidden nightmares within its rays
It gave only lies threw the clouds and left the moon with the sad aftertaste or the truth
The trees knew the truth yet they smiled back
The birds still sang their songs even when the sun didn't sing it back
When did the world prefer a lie?
When did the moon hold so much sadness even in its most peaceful times?
When did the sun deceive the dreamer?
It was when the clouds begged for warmth,
when they couldn't handle winters truth.
I never
I never once made you happy
not once
you smile of pity and not pride
proud is something you'll never feel for me
I tried, you know
tried to be what you wanted
but trying isn't enough is it?
I never made you proud
seems to me like I'm a disappointment no matter where I go
its hard smiling all the time
hoping you'll give me a real smile back
its harder pretending everything is fine
the weight of the world cant compare to the weight of this
its heavy and cold
my heart is tired
shall it rest here for a little?
I never once wanted or asked to be this way
I never asked to hurt or to be hurt
I never asked for pain
but with love comes pain I suppose
PAPER TRAIL
Pages on paper all blank
Nothing written down
A thought comes
But the paper becomes cumbersome
For the most part, the trash being my file
All this thinking took a while
But ideas with all kinds of imaginations
They are all coming about being illustrations
Words that knock at the door of the heart receive no answer
But sentences full of inspiration are welcomed to enter
They are front and center
Yet my life is partly on turmoil
But my feet remain on secrete ground
Heart and voice are beating loud and clear
It was drama giving me too much fear
But I have been directed and knowledge became my understanding
Yes, I had a paper trail
But I am destined, and I an guided in not to fail
...
~Winter Nights~
Winter nights are always the hardest
Because they're always the coldest
That's when I miss you the most
Because I imagine you holding me close
Whispering to me that I'm enough
I'd call this unrequited love
But even now I'm still not sure how you feel
You say things that hint your love hasn't gone away
But then you act like I mean nothing more than the dirt below your feet
Maybe one of these winter nights
You will finally be by my side
...Love
Your love is tender and sweet until I dont give you want you want.
Your love is screaming and fight making me cry till I cant breath.
Your love is making me hollow and full of regret, I feel sick.
But when your gone I feel starved of love, so your love is what feeds my soul.
Your love is all I know so with a sharp icey breath I whisper, I Need Your Love.
...
Wrongs
A church’s cloth has woolen innocence
Leaving man to feel right
Adding happiness to its life
Only to make blind the reality of time.
...